Feeling Defeated

I don’t know where my running future lies, but I keep going. I’ve never had a feeling of euphoria. Running does not provide stress relief or clear my mind. I don’t even like it. I run because I told my mom (and everyone who has donated a dollar to me) I would keep running and fundraising until she had a medicine that worked for her.

When I started running a few years ago, I couldn’t make it to the end of the block. I wanted to do a 5k with a 20 minute mile pace and I don’t know that I could have done it, honestly! I started C25k and it was hard. I didn’t really time myself for a while until I started training with Team Challenge. I was at about a 12 minute mile. I got to about a 10:30 minute average if I really pushed it. I fell all the time, but I was running! Strangely, since I was not part of any running group, I was perfectly happy with my time. There was no one to make me feel bad about running so slow! I didn’t even know I was that slow.

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There’s no I in team

That’s probably why I run, instead of, say, play Soccer. I don’t have a competitive bone (or nerve) in my body, so having a team rely on me to play my best is kind of hilarious. (Just ask the Playboy softball team and all the losses we had because I never learned how to play catcher.) Plus, I don’t want to workout with people, on a schedule, or really near anyone. I don’t want to worry about what everyone else is doing. The thoughts in my head are way more than enough to keep me company.

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Feeling exhausted

So I’m running again (If you can call it that) and practicing some race walking.  I also fell and scraped my hand and calf on the awesome sidewalks in my neighborhood. Ah well. I am taking it incredibly easy with one minute runs and one minute walks, keeping a light pace. I feel okay, actually I feel absolutely fine, but I am exhausted. It’s extremely draining. After three miles, I feel as if I ran 30. It will get better.

I was also thinking all this extra weight on me would slow me down in Norway, but after reading more blogs, I think it might keep me warm!

Itching to move

I may not like running, but I know when I’m behind in training. I did two 3 mile walks (with a zoo visit in between) on Sunday. The all walking 3-miles was actually faster than the I’ll run a little and see how I feel 3 miles. Tomorrow I aim for five (walking again)!

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